What was that? What’d you just say just now? L.O.L.? Laugh out loud? That’s a part of your lexicon? Really? L.O.L.?

Last time we tried anal during the light of day… Not pretty, remember?

I love women. I have all their albums.

Right, there you were, just minding your own business, walking down Abbot Kinney when your dick fell in me. Oopsie.

Anything with half a cock and one ball is gonna get a rise out of these kids.

All right, so, at the end of the day, if you can do anything else… telemarketing, pharmaceutical sales, or ditch digging, major league umpire… I would suggest that you do that, because being a writer blows.

B to the I to the double L. What’s up, my nig nog? Well, you should have called. I wouldn’t have answered, but you could’ve left a message, which I would have quickly erased.

What am I talking about? What am I talking about? I don’t know half the fucking time what I’m talking about.

It’s about a girl. She’s beautiful. She’s smart and funny, up for all kinds of intercourse.

I’m back, and you’re Black, which is cool. I’m a big fan of Black Jesus.