Sometimes burps smell worse than farts.

What, there’s no bodily functions at the deanery? Just catered affairs?

I don’t just say shit. I mean, I do talk a lot of shit, but I generally mean what I say and I say what I mean.

We needn’t ever speak of it again but one does not very easily forget the kiss of a beautiful woman. That’s right. I said it. I meant it. I’m here to represent it.

Do you think the ladies have gone too far with the sex-positive feminism? I mean, I know they all say they’re down with the pornography and the shaved pudenda and whatnot, but do we really think that this is the path to liberation?

What I cannot do is resist the allure of a powerful woman.

That is a prime example of what’s wrong with the younger generation today – you leave nothing to the imagination.

Are you sexually harassing me right now? Because if you are, I think I’m gonna have to report you. For giving me a serious boner.

In what universe is fucking like chinchillas and blowing coke up each other’s asses “seeing each other”?

Down the road, job opportunities tend to dwindle for those in the more naked professions.