The satanic bible is actually the ultimate self-help book. It’s not about worshipping the devil. It’s about believing in yourself first and foremost and not wasting your time on psychic vampires. If you read it, You might learn a thing or two because it actually makes a hell of a lot more sense than the gobbledygook you’re passing off on the average everyday barnes & noble bottom-feeder. That’s right – I’ve read your book. I want my money back.